The Day That Changed My Life

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I have been a police officer for nearly 19 years.  During that span of time, I have experienced certain incidents I will never forget.  On one such occasion, during the summer of 2004 my life changed forever.  You see prior to this day, I believed that I was invincible.  In my braggadocious opinion, I was a superhero legend:  great looking, in good shape, fearless, intelligent, ambitious, well spoken, and a “RoboCop”.  Being a superstar in my own mind required me to make the big arrests that always made the headlines.  I would always take unnecessary risks just for the “thrill of the chase” and the accolades that came thereafter.  As I climbed the career ladder of success as a police officer, my relationships with my family and God became less of a priority.  My thirst for adrenaline and temporary fame was my primary goal that, although initially exhilarating, left me with an emptiness inside.  I surmised that I was only as good as my last arrest which propelled me to become more aggressive and reckless in my pursuit for notoriety and perceived success.  I became lost in a relentless daze of my own madness.  During this time, I worked hard (10-16 hours/6-7 days a week) and played even harder.  I had a lust for adrenaline and excitement on and off duty that catapulted me into a lifestyle of alcoholism, violence, and consequently adultery.  Eventually my craziness came to a screeching halt on “The day that changed my life”.  Let me explain in cop jargon:  

On September 15, 2004, my fellow detectives and I responded to the Woodlands Apartment Complex in North Chicago for the report of an odor of cannabis emanating from a residence.  Just a little weed case right?  WRONG!  My cohorts and I began knocking on the door of the apartment in question (Anyone over 40 remember Cheech and Chong movies?).  Subsequently, a young black male, about 22 years old, came to the door and said “ain’t nobody smoking weed here”!  Now I’m no rocket scientist or cannabis expert but the large puff of smoke when the door opened was A CLUE!  At this point, I told the suspicious guy who answered the door that he was not free to leave until I obtained a search warrant for his apartment.  Upon hearing my plan, the suspicious weed smoking dude attempted to run back into the apartment.  For the purposes of not allowing this guy to destroy evidence or escape, my partner (Detective King) and I wedged the door with our hands and eventually forced our way inside.  We then tackled the guy who previously answered the door and placed him in handcuffs.  We were then confronted by another guy that approached us from a bedroom.  Things got weird and because of the obvious uncertainty of the situation we secured this guy in handcuffs as well.  Our assisting detectives (Wilson and Brown) alerted us to finding nearly a kilo of cocaine outside of the apartment window.  At this juncture, one of the handcuffed suspects began smashing his head into a wall.  For the sake of avoiding a use of force complaint, I immediately grabbed this guy with my right arm.  While attempting to calm the crazed guy down, in close proximity, he removed my gun from the holster.  I immediately yelled “he got my gun” !  At this time the frenzied, cannabis smoking dude began firing my weapon from behind his back in handcuffs!  One gunshot, two gunshots, three gunshots!  Yikes!  My partner and I then slammed this guy onto the ground (on his back) while he continued firing the gun.  I didn’t have a backup gun so I couldn’t shoot this dude.  I did the next best thing to save me and my partners life: I began punching the offender in the face.  More shots rang out when, at which time, the gunshots eventually stopped.  It became apparent that the offender shot himself in the calf.  The shots then stopped and Detective King retrieved my gun from behind the crazed dude’s back.  Whew!  My partner, the offender and I all survived.  Praise God!  What I realized and learned after this experience was that I used to be on top of the world but extremely far from God.  I still have my struggles from time to time, but now know that God is my source of joy, peace, and motivation.  He filled the void that was in my life and lifts my spirit despite my insecurities and failures.  Praise the name of Jesus!
 
 

Freddrick Andrew Diez



Silent Cry

 
 
Silent Cry
 
I’ve always been curious about the world around me but, inside there was a silent cry.  Something most people wouldn’t and couldn’t see or hear this that was my silent cry.  From the words that weren’t kind that was my silent cry.  The isolation from the world outside was my silent cry.  To learn and to feel the warmth of your embrace was my silent cry.  To be able to feel just a little love that was my silent cry.  That these scars of pain that heals but, you keep ripping them apart that was my silent cry.  The hope that one day you would be kind and loving that’s my silent cry.  You broke this child in my silent cry.  What you didn’t know was that the silent cry would be the force of God’s grace that I today cry for him to forgive you and now that’s my silent cry.
 
Myra Flores
 


Is he the one?



THE SHADOW OF YOUR SIN WILL OVERTAKE YOU

You can’t run

You can’t hide

The darkness of sin lingers inside

That demonio of guilt is more than you can bear

A burden of torment filled with anxiety and fear

Although you continue to sneak

What you do in the dark becomes light

For everyone to peek!

You think you have it all together and show that you are strong

But God knows your deepest desires and will eventually prove you wrong

The allure of sin forever ravages your mind

As you seek the pleasures of the flesh

But never find:

SATISFACTION!!!!!!!!!!

Brother it is time to repent and await for God’s merciful  REACTION

This poem portrays a Brother In Christ who is in denial about his sexual addiction.  He is active in the church but his current state of affairs proves that his heart is far from the Lord.  Although he is careful and calculating when it comes to his dark secret, eventually God will bring his indiscretions to light. The writer is urging his prideful friend to confess his sin to God before destruction arrives.



God Doesn’t Need Our Success. He Wants Our Surrender.

We are a society that is driven.  Our world is bent upon performance, looks, status, and fame.  We feed upon the approval of others and that is the measurement to which we are defined.  What a perpetual mountain to climb!  Kind of like the hamster running in the ball.  “Getting nowhere fast”!  
 
God is different.  He loves us right where we are.  No awards, certificates, performance standards, weigh-ins or resumes.  We don’t have to achieve anything to earn God.  Just simply SURRENDER and allow God to be successful in us.  
 
Are you tired of living by worldly standards of success and feeling empty?  If so repeat this prayer and meditate on 
Proverbs 3:5-6:  
 
Most Gracious and Heavenly Father you set the standard of life.  In you there is an abundance of joy, power, and love unparalleled to anything this world has to offer.  Lord keep my eyes and heart focused on your Heavenly Kingdom.  Sometimes I feel like a sheep without a shepherd but it is through my weakness that your strength prevails and carries me to victory.  Thank you Almighty Savior for your continuous outpouring of blessings onto my life.  In the name of Jesus Christ I pray.  Amen


Romans 7:21-23

 
Upon reading this scripture, I felt a sense of relief. What I realized is that I am not a “Christian Misfit” or a hypocrite who claims membership but does the opposite. Paul struggled with sin just like me. He loved the Lord from within the deepest parts of his heart, yet at times could not resist the temptation of sin. No one knows for sure what that sin was, but what matters to me is that Paul was human. A Biblical Hero who struggled with less than Godly thoughts and/or actions. Praise God! Nobody is perfect and daily prone to the effects of sin. I don’t take comfort in thinking that Paul was just as deplorable as me,
but rather in knowing that God sees past my weaknesses and restores me for his kingdom’s purpose.
 
Almighty Savior, thank you for this reality check. I am a prisoner of the boundaries set forth by my mind. My bondage is the dark shadows of negativity that torment me day and night. Prisoner no more! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! God has a purpose for my life and my greatest sin is allowing the demons of doubt to blockade his glory.
 
Mighty deceiver your grip is no more!
Although a sinner, God’s grace I implore
All of my life captive by the darkness of my sin
There is nothing that I can do but allow Jesus to win
The struggles and pain have been real
Savior, you know my heart and exactly how I feel
Today is a day that God is calling
Lead me by the hand Lord and save me from falling
 
I love you Jesus